how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
