I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
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I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize