I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
