Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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