she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
