who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
