he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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