Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
