he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize