Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional