You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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