8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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