I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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