This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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