Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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