Your dad touched me again.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
