Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
