Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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