what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
