yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize