I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
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Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
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Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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