If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
