I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
