MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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