My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
