I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
