I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
