I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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