I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
