I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
