I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
