you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
