I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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