I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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