So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
