Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Randomize
