i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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