I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
