So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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