IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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