The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize