You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
