Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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