i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Found your dick twin last night
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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