Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
