We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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