why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The adults are the big ones right?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
