Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I will pee on everything he values.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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