3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
