saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
