Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
