Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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