dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
