May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
