good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
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hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
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YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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